It's that time of the year when holidays are starting. So for me, following the past years, I am somewhat expected to go home for the holidays. For the past years I've met this expectation enthusiastically after being in uni for so long.
But this year..things are different. I'm not in uni anymore so now the expectation feels..different. Due to some recent rollercoaster events, I'm not looking forward to meeting this 'expectation'. While I'm usually unsure with how I feel about things, because I'm usually conflicted between how I think I feel and how I should feel and think, this year..this time..I am not enthusiastic about going home for holidays.
As of now I just feel pain, stressed, pressured, tired and worned out..like my legs, from standing on a recent new casual job, which involves perfumes. And while some rest and much needed sleep will help my legs and me somewhat, just like my body without much constant exercise, I feel I'm slowly deteriorating..or to say the least..just unfit..body, heart and soul.
I hate it..myself included. How sad and pathetic and somewhat incredibly annoying.
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